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Joke by Jonathan P. A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. The genie grants her wish.Aidan Martin delivers the perfect Punchline - Auditions Week 2 - The X Factor 2017
A photon walks into a hotel. The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers. What comes after three? And what comes after 10? A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves.
Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. They belong to me. The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap. A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls. The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day.Sometimes the humor is in the story.
Read through our lengthier jokes and have a chuckle. Joke: Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going? I'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in. AND committed a robbery? The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area.
The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, "Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car. Joke: A math professor, John, is having problems with his sink so he calls a plumber. The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink.
The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck. The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumber and triple your salary. Just make sure you say you only made it to 6th grade, they don't like educated people.
His salary triples and he doesn't have to work nearly as hard. But the company makes an announcement that all of their plumbers must get a 7th grade education. So they all go to night school. On the first day of night school they all attend math class. The teacher wants to gauge the class so he asks John, "What is the formula for the area of a circle? So he begins to attempt to derive the formula, filling the board with complicated mathematics.
He ends up figuring out it is negative pi times radius squared. He thinks the minus doesn't belong so he starts over, but again he comes up with the same equation. After staring at the board for a minute he looks out at the other plumbers and sees that they are all whispering, "Switch the limits on the integral!
Joke: A man bought a golden ring for his blind wife at night. Can I wear it now? He took it from the box but it fell.Ok, this is totally random. Post your comments! On a place, at the countryside, two brothers used to live on a small house, with their dog. The house was located on the top of a hill. They also live with their sister, a big and fat woman. One day, they left their house, and went to the town, just to buy some things at the closest Market. On their way back, they heard two young guys commenting about… As they opened the door they realized they were terribly mistaken.
The dog was only taking a nap! Well, I could just create the beggining. Ok try one for this punchline. The farmer had been missing milk for weeks.
He always kept it in a big milk barrel outside of the sheep pen. He was in his house one day when he heard a loud clanging noise. He ran to the sheep pen and sure enough, the milk barrel was tipped over with two holes in it. They looked like horn marks. He ran into the sheep pen and yelled at the sheep. One day, Two nuns were hoeing a field by hand. Then suddenly, the ground below them collapsed! They struggled to leave and finally left.
They tolld no one about the incident and after a few months forgot about it themselves.
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At least until the next year, when the head of the nunnery tried to go into her secret underground headquarters, but found it caved in!
She found out who was in the field the day it caved in. Fortunately, she only found information on one of the nuns. As the nun was being dragged away for questioning, the other nun who had been in the field came by. She asked the men if she could ask the other nun from the field a few questions. They agreed, and the nuns went into a room.
They talked about that day to see if there was anything to prove the nun innocent. There was nothing. As the men dragged her away, she held up a hoe. She then said something that was almost inaudible. The other nun left to try and find the treasure.
Years later, the two nuns met. The nun who had been questioned asked what the other had been doing al those years. I think you were wrong about the treasure being in tokyo though. Your email address will not be published. Oh no! The leak is coming from the Global Positioning Satellite System again!
Comments stuuuupppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddddd.My friend recently told me the Pink Cheerios joke, which was pretty much a ten-minute long joke with a horrible, horrible punchline, which made me laugh pretty hard.
Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head? Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you. So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round.
The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh? The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something.
I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!
I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude. The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy. Okay, for my next wishI want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.
It was incredible.
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The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.
A businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.
So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls-Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution.
When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened.
The man was perfectly fine. Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon.
Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed.
Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people.
And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. No," said the executioner. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed.
Click here for more information. You put the punchline first. How do you make a time travel joke? I proposed my Russian girlfriend and she said Yes! For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow. It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, "You may now kiss the bride", but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn't mind. Start with the punchline. How do you tell a time travelling joke?
What do you call a Reddit joke without a punchline? I usually like to read the punchline of long jokes before I read the whole thing. The Bible definitely threw me a curveball. Why are most of the reddit jokes nowadays in the form of stupid questions with even stupider punchlines? Because Engineers have nothing better to do.
This joke may contain profanity. Request for a punchline I'm not sure if this is the sub for it. Went through the rules but couldn't find anything on the matter. So here goes. Why did the skeleton carve the pumpkin? Edit : Thank you for the punchlines. Got some chuckles. Much appreciated. I never click on these, because the punchline is rarely worth the effort. Told you. The punchline comes first. What's the worst part about time travel jokes?FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags.
What are good examples of jokes with long set-ups? I like setting up stories with a short punch-line. Sometimes it's a pretty good icebreaker. Can anyone give more examples of this type of joke, or what they're called?
They're called Shaggy Dog stories usually, except often those are really much longer and you can do the set up part forever. Here is one of my favorites. Roy Rogers' Boots One day Roy Rogers was passing the boot maker's shop when he noticed a pair of boots in the window that were the most beautiful he had ever seen.
He entered the shop and told the proprietor that he must have the boots that were in the window. The proprietor said the boots were made for someone else, but, if they fit Roy, he could have them and he would make a new pair for the other customer.
So Roy proudly left the shop wearing his new boots. However, on the way back to his ranch, it began to rain and as he walked up to the ranch house, his new boots got all muddy. He left them on the porch and entered the house. While he was eating his dinner, a bob cat snuck up onto the porch and grabbed the loops at the back of the boots in his mouth and ran off with both of the boots. Fortunately the cook saw the theft and called Roy.
Roy was livid. He whistled for Trigger and took off at a gallop after the bobcat. A few hours later he returned with a dead bob cat across the front of his saddle.
The once beautiful boots were hanging out of the saddle bags. They were torn to shreads. As he rode up, the cook hailed Roy.